Holy Cross

1) A small but prestigious Jesuit undergraduate college of old money, it is located on a ‘hill’ overlooking a mid-sized cesspool (Worcester, MA) and filled to the brim with rich white kids studying to be whiter and richer (when they aren’t totally hammered). The historic campus is a designated ‘arboretum’ which just means that olden day people planted lots of trees there so that drunken kids could later pee on them. The trees and fancy old buildings don’t make up for the fact that the campus is on the side of a damn mountain and the many stairs become death chutes during the notoriously snowy winters –which last till May. The food is of the lowest quality although gaining weight is rare due to the fact that crossing campus requires climbing between several altitudinal zones. A’s are not given to students at and those who seek them are readily advised to attend easier schools –like Harvard. Holy Cross has the highest academic rating of any Catholic institution in the country (98/